Dedications

A Note to the Reader              

Introduction

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PART ONE

 

CHAPTER 1   Why Christian Parents May Have More

Problems with Their Adult Children

    Principle 1 - Relationships That Need Radical Help

    Principle 2 - Leave and Cleave

    Principle 3 - Grownups Are To Honor Their Parents

    Principle 4 - God Hates Certain Things

    Principle 5 - All Humanity Has Family Problems

    Principle 6 - Moral Clarity Brings Division

    Principle 7 - Winning People without Compromise

 

CHAPTER 2   Your Job Is Done

A New Job Has Just Begun

     Defining Your New Job Description

     The Problem Is You Were a Good Parent

     Giving Them Space and Freedom

     Pray from a Distance and Speak Blessings

     The Second Season

     Making New Habits

 

CHAPTER 3   Your New Authority

The Biblical Patriarch

    Human Authority

    Spiritual Authority with Men

    Spiritual Authority in Unseen Realms

    Parental Authority

    Faith Filled Authority - Developing Eyes of Faith

    Growing In Your New Authority

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CHAPTER 4   Rising above the Temporal

Acting with God’s Love

    Don’t Be a Curmudgeon

    God’s Love Manifested in Patience

    God’s Love Manifested in Self-control

    God’s Love Manifested n Kindness and Gentleness

    God’s Love Manifested in Humility

    God’s Love Manifested in Forgiveness

 

CHAPTER 5   Inspiring Your Kid’s Kids

Adam’s Inspiration to Enoch

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CHAPTER 6      The Pain of Disappointment

Defining Your Expectations

    My Expectation List

    Find an Objective Perspective

    Negative Comments Attached to Our Pain

    Growing in Your Objectivity

    Approval and Disapproval

 

CHAPTER 7   The Loss of What Use to Be

Seven Steps of Transition

 

PART TWO

 

CHAPTER 8   When You Are Deeply Troubled

Relieving the Pressure of Relationships

    Obsess About the Right Things

    Once a day bring The Problem to God

    Do the Things That Bring Healing

    Open a Dialogue of Forgiveness

    My Wife and My Prayer for Help

 

 

CHAPTER 9   When They Don’t Want to Have Anything to Do with You                                

Healing Broken Relationships

    The Pain Caused by the Prodigal

    Guarding Against Self-Pity

    Find Your Love Again

    Have a Three Dimensional Perspective

    Pursue the Relationship When Possible

    Fill the Vacuum

 

CHAPTER 10  When They Don’t Want to Listen to You

Listen to Them

    Problem 1 - They Think They Know

    Problem 2 - They Have Found Other Experts

    Problem 3 - They Have Other Good Counselors

    Problem 4 - Knowledge Has Increased

    Problem 5 - You Are Just Trying to Help

    Problem 6 - They See the Dirt That is Missed

    Three Reactions to Your Advice

    Make your advice a thing to be treasured

    The Power of Speaking a Blessing

 

CHAPTER 11  How Did My Baby Turn Out Like This

Being a Realist Full of Hope and Faith

    What Is Your Relationship

    Mirroring Bad Behavior

    Increasing in Bad Behavior

    Growing in Godly Judgment

    Setting Behavior Perimeters

    The Truth Sets you free to Judge Behavior

    Recognizing Appropriate Behavior

    Incremental Behavior Changes

    Habitual Bad Behavior

    Routine Maintenance

 

CHAPTER 12  When Should I Help Financially?

Don’t Rob Your Child of God’s Lessons

    Should You Help?

    The Goal of Helping

          1 Don’t let fear make you have weak love

          2 Don’t rescue when they are still in the "pig pen"

          3 Speak the Truth when helping

          4 Just the Facts, Define the Problem

          5 Do What Is Right

 

CHAPTER 13  When Should I Help Them Leave

And Other Ways We “Help”

 

CHAPTER 14  What Do I Do Now That They Are Gone

Enjoying the Final Seasons of Your Life

 

A Final Word

 

Appendix 1 A Letter to My Kids

Now That You Are Adults